7 and a half months after giving birth, and I’m starting to feel like myself again.
Looking back, my expectations of parenthood were pretty unrealistic. I thought I’d bounce back into shape (or get into better shape than I ever as before), I thought it be full of energy, bright ideas and always out and about with the other mums, and although this isn’t entirely false, its far far from where I expected it to be!
I never thought I would lose myself to this little human being, but I completely have. I’ve changed so much that I sometimes don’t even recognise myself, and its only been the last month, that things have started to even out again.
Putting Joshua to bed in his own room was the start of it…Just being able to watch TV in bed, or put the light on and read a book before nodding off, is an absolute luxury! Some of my mum friends have yet to put their babies in their own room, and if you’re one of them – and I totally understand if you are…those first few nights were petrifying…you should just give it a go. It’s made all the difference to my own well being, and gives me some extra ‘me’ time, which I didn’t realise I missed do much!
Just as I type this, I look over and watch the monitor, he’s napping, and when he’s napping he’s growing and when he’s napping I’m growing…a little more back towards the Ashley I once new, but still very much the mum inside still.
Anyway, my point is that its not easy finding time to myself or having time to even write a little each day, but I’m focused on getting back to making time for myself, and that includes this blog. My little diary and therapy! Its such a relief to get things off my chest, and even if its just to syphon off those clouds of thoughts that come along throughout the day – its a good feeling!
It’s not easy, being a mum…but even with the lack of sleep, mum tum ‘ledge’ that I can’t ever see disappearing, and the lack of time to myself, it’s still the best job in the world!
I can’t believe how quickly these 7 and a half months have gone. Joshua is growing so quickly, he loves his food, is starting to crawl and constantly wants to stand up and smile at the world – he’s such a cutie!
If you’re feeling like you’ve lost yourself, hang in their, it’ll soon balance out again and you’ll be a better person for it!